Self-love is probably nothing but a trend and everyone has jumped on the bandwagon. A lot of us are not actually as in love with ourselves as we claim to be. I’m not trying to convince you about how self-love has changed my life because I can’t even tell you I love myself as much as I should, neither am I going tell you why you’re not showing yourself enough love. This post is basically to share with you my struggles on this journey and maybe delve a little the perks of self love

Self love is the instinct by which one’s actions are directed to the promotion of one’s own welfare or well-being, especially an excessive regard for one’s own advantage.

The definition is simple. On a daily basis, a lot of factors deter us from actually loving and promoting our own welfare or wellbeing. Often times, we pick other people above us, yet, we’re quick to throw the word self love in the faces of people who we probably feel threatened by — one way or another; or people we want to deceive into thinking we’re in love with ourself.

You cannot completely love yourself or care about your wellbeing if you’re constantly comparing yourself to someone else. You think she’s prettier than you, or he’s richer than you or their lives are better than yours. What happened to being enough for yourself? Loving yourself despite the flaws, challenges and lemons life throws at you?

Depression and self loathing are a result of not loving yourself enough (I’m sure that’s pretty obvious). When everything seems to be going right in my life, I’m happy. I love myself or so I think. The times that things seem to go downhill, the love doesn’t seem to be there anymore. I become hard on myself, I say unkind things to myself… I even fell into depression once.

Just before my period, my body seems to be at its sexiest. I stand in front of the mirror and admire the goodness that is my body but that quickly changes days after my period! I’m back to hating the stretch marks and complaining about my awkwardly long legs.

Self love is seeing the beauty that no one else sees in you. It’s recognising your strengths and weaknesses and loving yourself in spite of them. Self love is reading your daily affirmations out loud and believing them (eventually). Self love is treating yourself as well as you treat those that you love — or even better! Self love is not a reward; you don’t get it only when you do something right and it doesn’t get revoked when you do something wrong. Allow yourself to make mistakes, forgive yourself and learn to move forward.

Self love is becoming aware of the things you say to yourself. Your inner voice can do a lot of damage, if not controlled. The most important voice is your inner voice and if it’s not gassing you up, something will go wrong.

Treat yourself right — inside and out. Cleanse your mind, sleep good, eat good, treat your skin well. Basically do everything in your capacity to take care of yourself. You’re your own child and you deserve all the pampering you can offer!

If you don’t love yourself, others won’t love you.

People like good vibes and happy people. We all want to be around people that make us happy and definitely not those that remind us of our imperfections by reminding us of theirs. It starts with you. Love yourself and you’ll attract the love of others. That is not to say your solitude and self love isn’t enough but a little more love never hurt nobody.

Self love is not something that happens at the snap of your fingers. It will most likely take a very very long time for you to feel the wholesomeness of it. It’s a process and you have to consciously put in the required effort. I’m on that journey of truly finding and loving myself unconditionally. It’s a painstaking process but it’ll be worth it.

Thanks for stopping by.


Tobi ❤️


6 thoughts on “#SELFLOVE

  1. SugardaddyNd says:

    I agree with you so much cos self love is actually a process. Consciously trying to make decisions in your best interest. For me, I consider self discipline as one of the core to self love. Thank s for sharing this post honestly.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. cliquetalk says:

    Comparing myself with others was something I would always do. I wouldn’t go on instagram bcoz I knew the outcome would be taunting myself about how the other person seemed to have a better life than I… I would fall into depression later on. Thankfully, these days, I don’t even kill myself over anything. I can say I’m learning to love myself cos as you said, self love doesn’t happen at the snap of ones fingers. Well written❤

    Liked by 1 person

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