Appearances of Evil

Appearances of evil is a term Odi’s Mum uses to explain situations that appear evil but aren’t actually evil. I guess we’ve all been in situations where our character appears evil, but we know deep down that we are not bad people. People tend to judge us based on our physical appearances and how we choose to express ourselves and that doesn’t define us.

People have, from time to time judged me for wanting to dye my hair blonde and wearing an anklet. Hell! They even judged me for fixing artificial nails. I was shocked when, one day someone called me a Benin girl because I fixed long nails – I don’t fix often, but when I do, I like them long (no offence to Benin girls). I jokingly replied that Benin girls are pretty so whatever, but I knew deep down that what he meant to say was why do you look like a hoe – cause that’s the general false perception about Benin girls.

For years, I found it rather difficult to be myself. Instead of concentrating on being who I want to me, I found myself trying to conform to society’s standards. I would want to appear like the typical good girl in order to avoid judgements. I would remove my anklets and earrings whenever I felt like I’d run into a judge Judy A.K.A my mum’s friends. I would squirm in my sit and try to hide my ankles or freak out in my head over my exposed ears and six piercings.

Now let me introduce Tobi 2.0, the new and improved version of myself. This version of me doesn’t care about anybody’s opinion about my physical appearance and what not. For almost a year now, I’ve continued to grow a thicker skin. I now know how to shut people’s opinions out and ignore their side comments. My hair or anklets or piercings don’t define me. They don’t make me a bad person and they definitely don’t make me a hoe.

Have you ever being misjudged because of your appearance and how you choose to express yourself? I’d like to know, cause I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one with the problem.

Thanks for stopping by.

Love, Tobi.


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22 thoughts on “Appearances of Evil

  1. Inspiritbygrace says:

    Tobi 2.0 updated version🙅.
    Well some people have looked at me funny cos I’m a dread heads. As in the audacity, asking me if it’s spiritual to carry locs (dada). I’m like hello, Samson had 4locs of hair read your bible. Lol

    Liked by 2 people

  2. officialgentlegeorge says:

    I really understand the Benin Part. But I understand how she felt. The culture of the environment could really be an influencer on how we are seen AMD treated. Sometimes we say we do not care, but deep down we do. I have been there before. Thanks for sharing

    Liked by 1 person

  3. mobiletravelsite says:

    Cheers to Tobi 2.0… I always try so much and to be a good girl that things I really want are sacrificed for others to be happy. I love anklet and though I don’t like any kind of jewelry. Yesterday I took a bold step and pierced my nose. Have always wanted that so freaking much and i did.

    Cheers to stop acting and be real…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. my denim heaven says:

    Yes. I’ve always been judged by how I chose to dress. It feels society have a map that I should follow on the way a lady should dress but I’ve suffered in silence for so long and I’m not having any of it this 2018. Stare at me and I would stare back twice longer. Make snide comments and you’d hear from my ancestors. Nonsense and ingredients

    Liked by 1 person

  5. girleccentric says:

    So on appearances of evil…. Let’s say you go for a job interview, and for some reason, the person thinks you look like a Ho and doesn’t consider you for the job. That’s why you are advised to look professional. In such situations, their opinions definitely would matter because they are the ones you’re trying to leave a good impression on.
    My mom would say wear what you want as long as you’re looking smart.
    Tobi 2.0…I’m actually loving that. Don’t let people’s criticisms get to you. So far as you have an image that you want to build for yourself and you believe you’re working towards it, then go on.
    But as for appearances of evil, there are some we really need to flee from.
    ♥️

    Liked by 2 people

    • journalthreesixty says:

      I actually went for a job interview last Thursday and shortly after the interview I realised that I hadn’t even remembered that my hair was blonde. What if they judge me? I thought. But I pushed the thought aside and reassured myself that I aced it. People constantly make assumptions about people’s appearance because think it’s wrong. A lot of black girls in the US cannot even go to work in their natural kinky hair 🤦🏽‍♀️ how’s that for appearances of evil.
      Personally, I don’t think you owe it to anyone to flee from your choices. If your job requires you dress corporate, then by all means, do that. That includes taking off the nose ring or whatever you consider inappropriate for the corporate world. But on the flip side, when you’re not a work and you’re yourself, don’t let anyone’s opinion about you determine who you should be.
      Thanks for your comment love 💕

      Liked by 2 people

  6. quirksandpearls says:

    Lool, you remember all these things.
    Anyway, I understand all you talked about. There are some things I’d like to do but I just can’t because of misjudgement and most times, I won’t be there to defend myself. Maybe one day, I might get to the point of not caring. Meanwhile, I’ll just be the way I am.

    Liked by 1 person

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